Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Treatment, Second Draft

Took Sheila's advice and tried to add some conflict. I'm not sure if I did, but here's a shot at it.
This idea is getting very explosive....


LELAND AND HOGARTH (formerly “Wallflower”)

It’s a Saturday night and a purple house shaped like a cat’s face bobs up and down to techno music playing within. Through its orifice-shaped windows, lights flash and monsters dance, chat, drink, and play games.

Inside, weird monsters jive to the music as they stand around a “beer pong” table, except instead of ping-pong balls, the balls are drunken frogs. Demonstrating the game, one player pokes the frog’s butt, jolting the frog awake and sending him careening off into a giant bucket. SCORE! The crowd cheers. Monsters dance and do the wave.

Leland sits in the corner with a goopy drink that seems to be alive. Leland’s eyes are wide and somewhat shaky. His body is completely still, as a group of monster pass him doing a hip-thrust conga line. He doesn’t notice that his drink is crawling out of his cup in attempt to escape. The drink plops on the floor, but its moment of success ends when another partier steps on it and it fizzles into the carpet.

The monsters bounce the drunk frogs on their heads to impress the female monsters. Meanwhile, Hogarth, a tall, lanky creature, plops next to Leland on the couch. Hogarth is very drunk. He unabashedly breathes down Leland’s neck and stares at him. Leland scooches away from Hogarth, until he notices a guy hip-thrusting in his direction.

The monsters continue to play frog pong. Hogarth continues to breath in Leland’s face. At the game table, the next player, an overly excited little twit thing, hyperventilates and pokes the frog a little too hard. The frog flies over in Leland’s direction and into the wall, nearly splatting on Leland’s face. Fearing for his life, Leland looks over to see the front door exit glimmering in the distance. Hogarth burps in Leland’s face, breaking Leland’s moment of happiness. Hogarth then passes out on Leland’s lap.

Leland tries to push Hogarth off his lap, but Hogarth is very heavy and doesn’t budge. In fact, Hogarth seems to have a firm grip around Leland’s waist. Leland tries to slap him awake, but it is no use. Leland gets up, dragging Hogarth with him.

OJ, a big fluffy teddy-bear looking monster, bursts through the doors with a large smile on his face. His cronies follow behind him, including his girlfriend, Bonita. Hogarth wakes up to the sound of OJ’s entrance. The music is turned up. OJ smooches Bonita, heads to the center of the dance floor, and begins to do a dance.

 Hogarth, pumped up by the music, starts to dance too, pushing his way into the center near OJ. Leland attempts to head for the front door. Bonita, a female monster with a long tongue, gets so excited by OJ that she throws herself at him as he is dancing. Hogarth, however, gets in the way and whacks Bonita, sending her flying into Leland. As Leland and Bonita collect themselves, they make eye contact. Bonita, very drunk, licks his face. OJ sees Bonita and Leland, fuming. Leland, startled, jumps up and tries to run away. He passes Hogarth, who loses his balance and falls over onto Leland, grabbing onto his legs.

Because of Hogarth, Leland falls into a large, fluffy wall. He looks up to see OJ smiling down at him. All of a sudden, OJ’s expression changes into a death glare. OJ picks up Leland, and throws him into the roof.

Leland breaks through the roof, flying out of the house and onto the sidewalk. As he gets up, another monster is thrown out through the roof: Hogarth. Leland timidly looks at Hogarth, who seems to be dead. All of a sudden, Hogarth gets up. He stands awkwardly next to Leland for a minute and then impulsively gives Leland a hug. Hogarth then barfs on Leland.

1 comment:

  1. I can really feel the constant motion and rhythm this cartoon will have. I like how it's relatable but at the same time bizarre -- particularly the frog ping pong balls. It's gonna be a lot of animation, but I think you know that going in.

    I definitely think the conflict is helping. Can't wait to see the characters!

    ReplyDelete